The stumbling around and inability to walk in a straight line is called ataxia. The medicine I'm being given is expected to exacerbate all of my symptoms and that's just what it's doing. That's what I have to remember no matter how bad I get.
Actually, yesterday was a disaster. We went to church, just as we always do. I didn't feel well, but I thought I was well enough to go. I almost made it through Sunday school. Due to the brain fog and cognitive issues, I really can't tell you what the lesson was about. I don't always have that problem, but a lot of times I feel like I can't get two brain cells to come together for a complete thought. Near the end, they were talking about spouses with health problems. It wasn't specific. It was part of the lesson. I just got so overwhelmed and started crying openly. I DO NOT DO THAT. I'm the kind of person who can usually save it for later. Yesterday, I didn't even care. My muscles were so weak I wasn't sure I would be able to walk out of the room. I did take my cane, but it wasn't enough. As soon as we got out of the door, I told Lonnie that I needed to go home. It was a long, somewhat embarrassing walk to the car. I didn't use my cane. I just held on to his arm. We got home and he helped me into bed...church clothes and all because I was too exhausted to change. Needless to say, I did not do very much other than spend time in bed. One of the things that hurt me the most is seeing my 10-year old daughter standing at the foot of the bed looking at me and saying, "Mommy, it just breaks my heart to see you this way." Sigh.
The stumbling around and inability to walk in a straight line is called ataxia. The medicine I'm being given is expected to exacerbate all of my symptoms and that's just what it's doing. That's what I have to remember no matter how bad I get.
1 Comment
Mom
4/30/2015 07:58:17
It breaks our hearts, too, to see you this way. It's during the times when we are suffering that we can sometimes feel that God is so far away or that he doesn't hear our prayers. He is always with us and always hears our prayers. May God comfort you and give you peace throughout this journey.
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AuthorMy name is Deanna...proud Navy wife, mom to one, follower of the One, pianist, registered nurse, avid knitter, crocheter, reader, & lover of languages. I also love to write. I have had undiganosed Lyme disease for 32 years following a tick bite when I was 11. Archives
March 2017
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